<p>From time to time even the strongest couples experience <a href=\\”http:\/\/riverpathcolorado.com\/our-services\/\\” class=\\”ui-editor-link-external\\”>relationship problems<\/a>. Many times these relationship issues are circumstantial and temporary, perhaps a mistake was made, and can be handled in the short-term. Some of them, however, are reflective of deeper issues in the relationship.<\/p>
\n<p>Because everyone isn\u2019t raised in the same home and not everyone has the same values, not everything runs smoothly right off the bat.<\/p>
\n<p><strong><span style=\\”text-decoration: underline;\\”>Do you and your partner:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>
\n<ol>
\n<li>Have the same views about money and finances?<\/li>
\n<li>Have the same views about how to raise and discipline children?<\/li>
\n<li>Have the same views about sex and intimacy?<\/li>
\n<li>Have the same views about family?<\/li>
\n<li>Have the same views about religion and spirituality?<\/li>
\n<li>Have the same views about conflict resolution & communication?<\/li>
\n<\/ol>
\n<p>Chances are that you share similar views on many of these but not all of them. Discrepancies come up and cause relationship problems and can cause tremendous rifts when those conversations don\u2019t go well, especially when your views of conflict resolution and communication are at odds.<\/p>
\n<p><span style=\\”text-decoration: underline;\\”><strong>Here are some tips for smoothing out<a href=\\”http:\/\/riverpathcolorado.com\/contact-us\/\\” class=\\”ui-editor-link-external\\”> communication<\/a>:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>
\n<ol>
\n<li><span style=\\”line-height: 13px;\\”><strong>\u201cI first\u201d language.<\/strong> Address concerns to your partner by beginning your statements with \u201cI think\u2026\u201d or \u201cI feel\u2026\u201d. When we start sentences off with \u201cYou do\u2026\u201d or \u201cYou are being\u2026\u201d it immediately causes defensiveness in our partners, which limits their receptiveness to what you\u2019re sharing with them. <\/span><\/li>
\n<li><strong>Verbally recognize that you understand what your partner is sharing with you.<\/strong> Often times we hear through a defensive lens, distorting what the other person is actually saying. Checking in with them by saying \u201cI think what you\u2019re telling me is that I hurt your feelings\u2026.\u201d or \u201cIt sounds like what you\u2019re trying to tell me is\u2026.\u201d gives them the opportunity to clear up and miscommunication but it also indicates that you\u2019re listening.<\/li>
\n<li><strong>Consider that a message can be shared and transmitted in many ways and what way your partner will most likely be receptive to it.<\/strong> The old saying is, \u201cIt\u2019s not what you say, but how you say it\u201d. It holds especially true. Envision you and I are having an argument and it goes something like this: \u201dYou\u2019re such a jerk to me when we\u2019re out with our friends. Why do you have to be such a witch?\u201d. That will likely lead to both of us feeling hot headed and less willing to work cooperatively together. Now what if we tried it this way; \u201cI feel really reactive to the way you talk to me in front of some of our friends. It makes me feel attacked and I know you probably don\u2019t mean that. Will you help me by being a little more mindful of some of that?\u201d. This version has the speaker taking ownership of their feelings and not attacking the other person \u2014 much more likely to be effective.<\/li>
\n<li><strong>Remember that the person you\u2019re talking to is supposed to be someone you love.<\/strong> When we first become romantically involved, we are very concerned with the wellness of the other person and try harder to ensure that we\u2019re doing right by them. That sometimes gets lost as the relationship evolves. Try to remember that the disagreement isn\u2019t about being \u201cright\u201d, it\u2019s about helping the other person feel respected and attended to.<\/li>
\n<\/ol>
\n<p>We encourage you to have these conversations with your partner and to try implementing them into your relationships. One of the many benefits of marriage counseling is having an expert there to help you identify where communication breaks down and causes those relationship problems for you two, specifically. If you decide you want that extra help, <a href=\\”http:\/\/riverpathcolorado.com\/contact-us\/\\” class=\\”ui-editor-link-external\\”>let us be your guide through that process<\/a>. We have extensive experience helping couples work through communication issues.<\/p><p>- <a href=\\”https:\/\/plus.google.com\/105182342113293066704?rel=author\\”>Alex Michaud<\/a> <br><\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
<p>From time to time even the strongest couples experience <a href=\\”http:\/\/riverpathcolorado.com\/our-services\/\\” class=\\”ui-editor-link-external\\”>relationship problems<\/a>. Many times these relationship issues are circumstantial and temporary, perhaps a mistake was made, and can be handled in the short-term. Some of them, however, are reflective of deeper issues in the relationship.<\/p> <p>Because everyone isn\u2019t raised in the same home and …<\/p>\n